Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Perfect Jets Christmas

Santa, I know I haven't written to you ever since I realized you don't exist. But my team needs you more than ever, and I'm willing to sacrifice my own gifts for the Jets to win the AFC East.

You're welcome.

But Santa, here's my wish list for Christmas 2008.

*I want a defense that punches Chad Pennington in the mouth repeatedly and shows some swagger, stopping the run like they did early in the year, and getting to the quarterback.

*I want the Bills, who have lost 15 of their last 16 games to the Patriots, to finally get their revenge, knocking New England out of the playoffs in front of their home fans.

*I want Joe Flacco and John Harbaugh to finally realize that they are rookies at their respective jobs, and that Jacksonville plays for pride, making enough plays to upset the Ravens.

*I want a 6'4" 220 lb receiver with 4.3 speed and impeccable hands.

*If my previous wish is a pipe dream, please let David Clowney receive more opportunities to make some plays.

*I want either Brett Ratliff or Kellen Clemens to transform into a starting quarterback in case Brett Favre plays the will-he, won't-he game all offseason.

*Please give Favre the gift of decisiveness this offseason.

*Give Eric Mangini his aggressiveness back.

*And finally, please giftwrap a Jets victory and improbable playoff berth this season.

Oh, and I know you don't normally bring negative gifts, but a quick heads up: Bob Sutton and Brian Schottenheimer have been very naughty this year.

Merry Christmas, everyone!


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